One week till surgery

I just finished reading an article that was forwarded to me by the vice president of volunteer programs with FORCE (FACING OUR RISK OF CANCER EMPOWERED).  She is actually the first person pictured in the series of photos. With the knowledge that I have 1 week till my prophylactic double mastectomy, I read the article and was overwhelmed with emotion.  Please check out the link:

http://healthland.time.com/2013/10/28/before-angelina-the-women-who-outplayed-cancer/photo/timewomen-19503-3/

The article shows 16 photos of women who have either previved or survived breast cancer.  Each photo has a small story below which gives a brief description of their individual stories.  I was so moved by these women’s choices and journeys.  And to think, there are so many others out there like them.  Remembering that I am not alone in this helps so much.  On the other hand, as I have said in the past, reading too much for me can scare me.  I am scared of the feelings I will have the day before, day of and days after the surgery.  When I read things such as one person was terrified to remove the bandages and to look at herself with scarred breasts, or another talks of having no feeling in her breasts, or another says she was scared of her breasts not feeling natural anymore.  These things scare me.  There is no way to know how I will feel when next week finally happens but I know I have to control the fear I have now by enjoying the little things.

Enjoying the simple things such as my amazing husband who happened to be home for lunch and did the dishes for me that were left in the sink from breakfast while I was out, or that I had an amazing afternoon with my kids painting pumpkins.  These are such small things but they make my life easy and happy!  I also have to be thankful for all the amazing friends who have stepped up to take my kids for playdates every afternoon during the first two weeks of my recovery. But mostly I have to think of those who I have met recently who are struggling through a breast cancer diagnosis with surgery and treatments.  I feel awful for those who did not get the opportunity I am having by preventing the disease from ever attacking my body.  Hearing their stories and others makes me know I am making the right decision.  Because this is all about decision where once you have cancer  there are very few decisions you can make.

As always, thanks for letting me share,

Janelle

8 thoughts on “One week till surgery

  1. Thinking of you Janelle! You are an inspiration, thank you for sharing your journey. You are blessed with a wonderful, loving family and wonderful friends. I will be thinking of you in the weeks to come, dear old friend! xx

  2. The emotions will be somewhat of a rollercoaster but try to remember that it’s ok to feel exactly what you’re feeling at that time. No emotion is wrong. I hope everything goes smoothly and you have a quick recovery. Please know that, even though you don’t know me personally, I am here for you if you need anything. I will be thinking of you next week. All my best to you and your family!

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