Where do you find the strength?

I often get asked the question, where do you find the strength to have made these decisions about your body (prophylactic surgeries to prevent cancer) or I am given the statement you are so strong to do everything you are doing about your health.

First off thank you for thinking that I have this incredible strength. I don’t see myself that way.

As to how I have the strength, well it really comes down to three things….

First….I jump into something then think about it later! Ok that may sound crazy…but have you ever bought something, like a car you knew you really wanted or you went to an amusement park and you knew you were going on that scary ride…but before you can do it you have to sign a release form.  Well you sign it right??  Because you know your going to buy that car or you are going go on that wild ride.   In my situation, I want continued health for myself so I have just said yes without thinking about how each element of the process will affect  me. At times it’s been tough but I would say generally I’ve never questioned that jump without thinking decision.

Secondly…..and this is a silly one. Whenever I am freaking out or stressed or need to find that special happy place…I drive in my car alone and turn up my favorite song of the moment and rock out like know ones watching. I sing at the top of my lungs and I feel my soul soar. While I am doing that somehow my wonderful, blessed life comes into perspective and I am able to continue.  Song of the week or even the month I might say is “Roar” by Katy Perry.  I image the hereditary breast cancer being the person or thing she is singing about.  Like you hear this news you have hereditary breast cancer, you sit with it and think OMG WTF do I do now then you realize there are all these choices.  And slowly you get up and kick the thing in the butt.   For those who have had breast cancer or ovarian cancer and actually had an even heavier battle than I…I think this song is even more appropriate.  You have survived!  You can kick its but, be a fighter and become a champion with your health!

ROAR by Katy Perry 

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now[Chorus]
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roarNow I’m floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes
I went from zero, to my own heroYou held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

[Chorus]
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’ll hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar…

Ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’ll hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar…

Third I make sure to have memorable moments with my family. I lean on them. Let them and my friends support me with their thoughts, their ears(I can talk a lot) and their love!

Check out my most recent memorable moment with my family.  All my Facebook friends have seen this but I am putting it on my blog as well, because these are the moments that make me happy!

And check out the photo of my bracelet given to me by my amazing cousin Lorelle who made the wise decision years before it was common to undergo a prophylactic double mastectomy  and a salpingo oopherectomy because she was BRCA1 positive and had witnessed her grandmother (my grand aunt) die of cancer, and her mother in her 40′s become a breast cancer survivor. These are just three of many women in my family effected by this gene mutation.  Lorelle now wears a bracelet that says “wisdom” because she had the wisdom to take action very early on.  She gave me this bracelet which says “Strength” because in her words, “Though this is necessary decision, it still took a lot of inner strength to go through with it. Your approach was courageous, strong and wise. I am sending you this bracelet to wear with pride, a reminder of the kind of woman and mom you are.”  Thank you Lorelle, you inspire me and your words left me in tears when I received the card and bracelet shortly after my surgery in November.  Again, I don’t see myself this way but to hear it makes you feel strong and that’s what matters more than whether or not I am strong.  So support people this way and we can only get a little more strength for the decisions we need to make.

Thanks for letting me share,

Janelle

The “strength” bracelet (Stella & Dot)

Strength Bracelet

Video of The Morrison Family having fun during the holidays!!!   Happy New Year to everyone out there, may you find your inner strength in the next year.

2 thoughts on “Where do you find the strength?

  1. How insanely amazing is this woman! I am so lucky to witness her strength, spirit, and heart everyday… Incredible! Keep writing, babe, and I’ll keep reading. The sky is the limit!!!

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